I have always been curious about the mind and the psychology of mental melees throughout our society, as well as for myself personally. The theory of the true-self versus the false-self is the main premise in this series; being that the true-self is the self we are born with, where the false-self is the self that forms out of fear and longing to be accepted by our loved ones and strangers. The personal research I have pondered and conducted on the subject made me think about my own fronts I put up; am I trying to hide something without even being aware of it? Have I been aware of my own false-self the whole time and have been trying to fight my way back to my true-self?
This sequence of self-portraits present the fact of how powerful the false-self can be versus the true-self and the consequences that can arise with letting the false-self take over. The birth of mental illness through the false-self is not an uncommon occurrence, which has always been a darker fear of mine. I have always been an escapist, even if that meant hiding my personality with another one to escape confrontation or judgment, though throughout time I have found this to do more harm than good, not only to myself, but the people I hold dear. Learning to release that barrier and accept myself before letting whatever darkness the false-self brings has been a lesson of pain, but has been well worth the endeavor. I feel symbolism with animals, depth of field, double exposures, and different textures made my manifestation more successful in showing not only my story, but connecting other's stories as well, since every human can relate to having a presented self.
I found inspiration for Covert Fray through conducting interviews, writing essays, reading poems, listening to music, and looking inside my own mind through meditation, finding out why I do the things I do. I felt the words "covert" and "fray" to be the best description for the occurrence in our everyday lives; being subject to a hidden fate in a near endless clash. Hearing what others have to express about the different subjects as well as my own experiences spoke to me in ways that made it very emotional for me to express myself visually through photography. My hope is that I can bring that same emotion, curiosity, and passion to learn to others through this medium.